Be a Better Person and be improving

Need to break out of my depressive mood and see meaning in life so I can be motivated for work.

Need to improve on soft skills and hard skills, to better manage my emotions.

Need to find meaning by doing good deeds for society and community.

Need to reduce the need of recognition and appreciation for being helpful.

Be a better person.

Dr Goh Keng Swee and Mr Ong Teng Cheong, Singapore owes you our gratitude

Was surfing the net and reading on Dr Goh Keng Swee, our first Minister of finance, Minister of defence. There was an anecdote related by his wife, that while he was in hospital, he chided her as wasteful for using a whole piece of tissue, he would cut them into half, used one half, kept the other. He was the brain behind our economic success.

Another leader I would like to bring up is Mr Ong Teng Cheong, he was NTUC general secretary, he vigorously improved the lives of workers through empowerment of the trade unions, sanctioned strikes for the shipping industry, when he saw they were being exploited.

He ran for the first elected presidency, and he assured the people of Singapore that his loyalty was first and foremost to them and Singapore. After taking office, he went on to fulfil his duties as keeper of our national reserves, he clashed with his ex cabinet ministers..When his term expired, the govt decided not to endorse his run for the second term. When he passed away in 1999 he was only accorded a state assist funeral despite his numerous contributions to Singapore

Thoughts on Singapore's society

Is urban life a relentless pursuits of status and material gains without a care for values like equity and justice.

I live in Singapore, when since young our local TV channels would talk about how Singapore had overcome all odds to be economically successful, and the cult like figure of LKY post independence Singapore prime minister, how he led Singapore from third world to first world.

We had many other altruistic and great leaders like Dr Goh Keng Swee, Hoi Sui Sen, Lim Kim San, S Rajaratnam. But we only heard the name of LKY as founding prime minister.

As I grew up, I realised that the good living standards come at the cost of promoting business's interests over workers, where there are numerous legal but unjust and unfair practices.

I also read about the Marxist conspiracy where social and church workers were detained under ISA on the charges of trying to overthrow the govt with a Marxist govt. I feel that it is a miscarriage of Justice because these people were just trying to fight for the rights of workers being exploited by businesses.

I read about how the then attorney general Francis seow was detained under ISA for defending those involved in Marxist conspiracy.

He then ran for the general election, narrowly lost, was then investigated for tax evasion.

I believe this was political persecution.

Our current PM Lee Hsien Loong, the eldest son of LKY, in a bid to boost economic growth, has increased the population drastically, and lead to greater social inequality, where those with the financial means, benefit from his growth at all cost economic policies.

The wake up call was the 2011 general election where the ruling party saw their vote count dropped to historic lows of 60%, lost a GRC. The ruling party started to pay attention to improving social equity.

Even then they tried to control dissent, through the online media laws, and they are still reluctant to increase employment law protection for workers.

The recent 38 oxley road saga over the fate of LKY house, threw the spotlight on how our system is too tightly linked to the  PAP, from the selection of the PM former personal lawyer as attorney general and a former pap mp as deputy attorney general.

Bad Management Sfyle

How would 2nd generation successor to the company, with little experience knows how to manage people and business, demanding answers from his charges, and not having a proper way of asking info from his charges, using words like how come you do not know and you think, to convey that his charges do not know his stuff, and demanding answers from his charges that are not within their scope because he himself has completely forgot about following up on things he has put on hold.

And an incompetent manager who tried to show his leadership ability, could not handle the boss's son questions, and tried to get his subordinates to answer.

Brilliant management and system.

Went for a hike yesterday, come to realise that people with different experiences, backgrounds and personalities, will have different views.

There is not much difference in a support group or general public. It still boils down to individuals' personalities and experiences.

People do not seem to be able to understand humours and jokes. Taking it in the literal sense or too seriously.

Why I am always so sensitive to noise level? Today is Chinese New Year in Singapore, there was lion dance, and all the drumming sounds, I felt unable to focus with the rumblings.

Am I going to be like that forever? Thinking about it makes me feel sad and low.

Will I be able to recover fully or I will have to rely on medications for my entire life.

Irritable. Is it related to my condition

I am losing control of my emotions lately, this morning flared up because of a mistake in my loan statement from my bank saying I still owe 2.5 K for my study loan.

The bank said it was my university which asked for the payment.

I called my university and it said my loan capital is correct but the bank has not collected the full amount and asked me to call the bank.

I was worried I had to pay an extra 2.5 K for my loan which I had fully repaid, and raised my voice at the officer who was attending to my call.

Is it normal to feel angry and anxious on this matter?

I applied for half day leave but my supervisor, granted an off, for the work I did.

I get irritated when I am tired, and I feel tired easily as I worry over work,  my loans, and the lack of family support.